


You Don't Love Me

by a1_kitkat



Series: Tightrope Album Trilogy [3]
Category: Westlife
Genre: Boyband, Heartbreak, M/M, Marcky, Not Happy, Slash, Songfic, Tightrope - Album
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-09 04:06:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3235658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark starts to think he's won Nicky back but he may be wrong</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Don't Love Me

I see the blue in your eyes  
Baby what are you hiding?  
I catch a glimpse of the truth  
And it don't look good, no  
I feel the ground fall away

As you fight back the tears  
And choke the words

 

It was still early morning when Mark’s eyes slowly fluttered open. The smile that had adorned his face when he fell asleep the previous night was still present and he knew the reason for it. The brunette slowly shifted his body, supporting his weight with his elbow and he stared down at the sleeping blonde beside him.  
An entire month had almost passed since Mark had opened up about his mistake. He really hadn’t done it on purpose; he’d promised himself a long time ago to never hurt Nicky and breaking that promise had proved to be the worst thing he had ever done. He knew he would never forget the look on Nicky’s face, not to mention the hurt in his eyes as he’d heard Mark’s admission.

For twenty three days, Nicky had refused to speak to or even look at him and it had hurt Mark a lot more than he’d expected it to. Deep down, he knew and felt he deserved it but being ignored by Nicky was something he never wanted to experience again. Mark had since vowed to win back the older boy’s trust.  
Several days ago, Nicky had come to him and admitted he missed him. Mark had never been so surprised or relieved in his life. His first reaction was to take Nicky into his arms and kiss him… But he didn’t. He knew it was going to take time to win his lover back. Instead, he’d hugged the blonde and pressed a single kiss to his cheek.

Nicky had been reluctant to take things much further and Mark was more than willing to wait. He was prepared to do anything Nicky asked in a bid to ease things back to normal. But the older boy didn’t ask anything of him. They spent time together and went out for dinner a few nights in a row. It was Nicky who initiated their first kiss and Mark was so happy that he didn’t notice something was still wrong.

The brunette reached out and gently stroked his finger down Nicky’s cheek. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the older boy’s forehead before lying back down on the bed. He stared up at the ceiling and allowed a sigh of contentment to pass from his lips.

“I love you so much, Nicky” Mark whispered to his sleeping lover. “Thanks for coming back to me”

As he gazed at his love, his mind took him back to the previous night. Despite their progress, up until last night, Nicky had still been sleeping in a separate room to Mark. He hadn’t minded, much, he’d been understanding and patient. Mark knew Nicky would come back to him, completely, when he was ready.  
Last night, the two singers had gone for a drink after dinner then Mark had escorted Nicky back to his room. The younger boy hadn’t been expecting anything more than a goodnight kiss but their embrace had turned into something more and Nicky had invited Mark into his room.

 

You don't love me, you can't say it  
After all this time  
You don't want me, you can't mean it  
Tell me you lied  
Yesterday everything seemed so ok  
How can it be that today  
You don't love me?

 

The brunette watched as Nicky stirred for a moment then settled again. Mark licked his lips and closed his eyes. They had made love well into the night, Mark had held Nicky to him and kissed him with such intensity. As their bodies came together as one for the ‘first’ time, tears had rolled down Nicky’s cheeks and Mark had professed his love to the blonde. He’d not expected Nicky to say anything back; his stunned silence had said more than the older boy could have.  
Mark knew it couldn’t have been easy for Nicky to take him back after what he had done and, for now, that was all he needed. He didn’t expect Nicky’s forgiveness immediately, as long as Nicky was back by his side, it was enough for now.

Mark was still reminiscing about the previous night when Nicky began to awaken. The brunette immediately wished he’d done something special for the older boy instead of just watching him sleep. He could have ordered breakfast or run him a bath… Nicky’s eyes opened and, for a moment, the blonde didn’t move. He seemed to be contemplating the pending day.

“Morning” Mark whispered, smiling over at him.  
Nicky’s eyes met his and the older boy smiled back.  
“Morning” Nicky replied.

The brunette reached out, took hold of Nicky’s hand then raised it to his lips. Nicky watched, mildly fascinated, before he slowly retracted his hand.  
“Did you sleep okay?” Mark asked. Nicky nodded. “What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing’s wrong” Nicky said. “I just… I guess I got used to waking up alone…”  
“Oh”

They both fell silent for a few minutes. Neither one of them made any move to get up nor did they reach for each other (the way they used to). Mark tried to think of something to say but nothing came to mind.

“Thank you” Nicky broke the silence.  
His words caught the brunette off-guard. He blinked in confusion then gazed into Nicky’s piercing eyes. For a brief moment, Mark lost himself in Nicky’s eyes. The deep blue orbs he used to stare into every morning looked different today and he couldn’t place why. The brunette reasoned that it had been a long time since he’d woken up to the sight and he’d obviously forgotten what it had been like.

“For what?” Mark asked, still confused.  
“Last night, Mark”  
“Oh… Yeah… I.. Well… You’re welcome Nicky. I love you”  
“I know you do”  
The blonde stifled a yawn then glanced over at the clock. He instantly sat up and slid out of bed, pulling the sheet with him. Nicky wrapped the sheet around his naked body and headed for the bathroom. Mark didn’t say a word but he couldn’t understand why Nicky was acting so coy and odd.

“Nicky?” Mark began.  
“Sorry Mark” Nicky replied. “I really need a shower”  
“Right… You want me to order some breakfast?”  
“No, it’s fine. I… Uh… I already have plans for breakfast…”  
“You do?”  
“Yes”  
“Who with?”  
“Just a friend”

Nicky disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door. Mark heard the lock click into place and his heart sank. Unsure of what else to do, the brunette climbed out of bed and located his clothes.

The blonde dropped the sheet onto the floor and walked over to the shower. He turned both taps on as far as they could go then sank to the floor. Tears immediately filled his eyes and he crawled over to the toilet. With shaking hands, he gripped the bowl then threw up. He hoped the sound of the running water would cover the noises he was making. The singer closed his eyes and sobbed.

 

I thought that I really knew  
Who you were, baby  
But now my world is a mess  
And I'm going down  
I can't bear to believe  
There's nobody else  
The reason is...

 

Mark stepped out of the elevator and stopped. Shane was just leaving his room. The younger boy continued down the hall to his own room. Shane watched Mark closely but couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“Weren’t you wearing those clothes yesterday?” Shane asked him.  
“Yes, I was” Mark stated.  
“So you were out all night?”  
“Sorry, how is that your business?”  
Shane took a deep breath. He wanted, so badly, to slap the smirk from Mark’s face but he restrained himself. “You sicken me”  
“Excuse me?”  
“You’re a jerk. A complete and total jerk. I really thought you were serious about getting back with Nicky but here you are… Still out on the pull”

“Fuck you Shane!” Mark turned and glared at his band mate. “Actually, you know what? I don’t have to explain myself to you but if you must know, (and it seems you must), I was with Nicky last night”

He smiled, satisfactorily, as the color appeared to vanish from Shane’s face.

“Don’t look so surprised, Shane” he said. “I kept telling you he’d come back to me. We made love almost all night. I looked into his eyes, held him close and told him how much I love him… And he was so touched that he cried. Then I kissed away his tears before he fell asleep in my arms”

Shane held Mark’s gaze for a long time, trying to determine if the younger boy was telling him the truth.

“He loves me… You and I both know that. So… get over it. It’s not like he’s ever given you the slightest hint of being interested in you. Move on, before you end up embarrassing yourself”

The older boy kept his mouth firmly shut as he turned on his heel and headed for the elevator. It took all of his willpower not to turn around and tell Mark of their kiss. The words were on the tip of his tongue, he knew all he had to do was say ‘Nicky kissed me, climbed on top of me and kissed me with more passion than you can possibly imagine’ but he couldn’t do it. He’d promised Nicky that he wouldn’t tell Mark about it, the older boy had been insistent that he should be the one to tell Mark, not Shane.

“Hey!” Mark called. Shane didn’t want to stop but the elevator still hadn’t arrived. “Where are you off to anyway?”  
“How is that any of your business?” Shane snapped. “I’m only meeting Nicky for breakfast”  
“You’re what?”  
The elevator doors opened and Shane stepped inside. He turned and smiled at Mark before the doors closed. He felt some satisfaction when he saw the look on the younger boy’s face. Shane leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes, making a mental note to tell Nicky about this as soon as he saw him.

 

You don't love me, you can't say it  
After all this time  
You don't want me, you can't mean it  
Tell me your lied  
Yesterday everything seemed so ok  
How can it be that today  
You don't love me?

 

Nicky pushed open the door to the café and stepped inside. The door closed behind him and he quickly scanned the small room for Shane. The younger boy was sitting at a table in the far back corner. Nicky smiled and quickly made his way over to him.

“Sorry I’m late” Nicky greeted him.  
“I haven’t been here all that long” Shane replied. “Are you okay? You don’t look yourself”  
“Rough morning”  
“You wanna talk about it?”  
“I need food first”  
“Uh, I already ordered for you…”  
“You did?”  
“Well, you order the same thing every morning”  
“Thanks Shay”  
“No worries”

The brunette picked up his cup of coffee and had a sip. He looked up at Nicky over the brim of the cup and spoke. “So I saw Mark this morning”  
He watched Nicky, carefully, observing his reactions.  
“Oh?” Nicky began. “Did he… Say anything?”  
“I accused him of staying out all night… I mean, he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday,,,”  
“He was with me, in my room”  
“I know” Shane nodded.  
“He told you?”  
“That you were so touched, you cried” Shane whispered.

The older boy closed his eyes and sighed. He reached up and covered his face with his hands. Nicky shook his head from side to side and quickly blinked back fresh tears.

“Hey, it’s okay” Shane reached out and placed his hand on Nicky’s arm.  
“No, it’s not” Nicky sobbed.  
“Nix, what happened?”  
“I tried… Oh how I tried. I really thought I could trust him again. I know he made a mistake but I believed him when he said he was sorry”  
“Did he do something to you? Did he hurt you?”  
“No nothing like that. I just…” Nicky sighed. “When I was in my last year of school, I had this friend and her boyfriend cheated on her. She came to me for advice and I told her to get out of there, forget about him and move on. Once a cheater, always a cheater I said to her. But she took him back… A month later, he cheated on her again. I thought she was crazy for taking him back but I didn’t say ‘I told you so’ because she was so upset…. And I said that if someone I loved ever cheated on me, I’d never speak to them again”  
“And you didn’t, for a while anyway”  
“I never really understood how she felt until now. A part of me can see why she took him back, why she didn’t want to let him go”

“So why are you crying?” Shane asked him.  
“I couldn’t help it” Nicky confessed. “Every time Mark touched me, it felt just like it used to but there was something else… In my mind, when he held me and kissed me, I could see him with Adrian and all I could think was ‘how could he do that to me?’ and ‘how can he touch me and love me like it never happened?’ What if these thoughts and feelings never go away? Every time he kisses me, I’ll wonder if he’s thinking of me or someone else. Worst still, what if he does end up with someone else again?”  
“You don’t know that. Sure he made a mistake, who hasn’t? But you shouldn’t make your decision based on a ‘what-if’ scenario”  
“The thought of his hands on me, makes my skin crawl”  
“Now it does but it might pass”  
“Might! It might pass”

 

You've shattered my heart  
And you've left it for dead  
The truth is I've been misled  
You don't love me

 

“So are you forgetting that you almost betrayed him too?” Shane asked him.  
“What do you mean?” Nicky replied.  
“When you kissed me, you were betraying him”  
”That was different, you rejected me”  
“And that was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do… But if I hadn’t, would we have had sex?”  
Nicky paused, considering Shane’s question. “I know it was wrong but I… I never would have… With you… If he hadn’t done what he did first”

Shane slowly nodded then averted his eyes. This was the last conversation he wanted to be having with Nicky right now. He really felt for his friend but he wasn’t sure what he was meant to say or do. His instincts were telling him to tell Nicky to forget all about Mark, that he was better off without him, better off with someone who’d never do anything to hurt him…  
But he also knew how much Mark loved him. Shane knew Mark hadn’t done it intentionally. He’d just been drunk and made a stupid mistake… One that had caused Nicky so much pain. Pain that Shane hated seeing his friend suffer.

“I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say though” Shane began, looking up at Nicky once more. “Are you saying you don’t love him anymore?”

Nicky’s eyes met with Shane’s and the younger boy could see the tears in the blonde’s blue orbs. Nicky sighed and blinked back the tears before shrugging his shoulders in defeat.

“I don’t know” Nicky whispered. Shane leaned forward, lowering his voice again.  
“You slept with him” he said. “Are you regretting it?”  
“I… No… No, I’m not”  
“What did he say…? After, I mean?”  
“He told me he loved me”  
“And this morning? What did you say to each other this morning?”  
“He asked me what was wrong”  
“And what did you say?”  
“That nothing was wrong…. Then I… Thanked him”  
“You thanked him?”  
“It just… It felt like the right thing to say”

They were interrupted by their food arriving and the two singers stopped talking. The next few minutes passed as they ate in silence.

Shane busied himself with his meal but couldn’t help sneaking uncertain looks at the blonde. He really did hate seeing Nicky hurting so much but he was at a loss for how to help him. As much as Shane wanted Nicky for himself, deep down, he knew that Nicky’s happiness was more important to him… If being with Mark is what will make him happy then Shane would support him.  
He looked up and locked eyes with Nicky but quickly looked away. Being so close to Nicky was like a painful torture for him. His feelings for Nicky had intensified since that kiss and Shane had tried to put some distance between the two of them… But Nicky had been hurting and he’d needed Shane’s support and friendship. Not wanting to let him down, the brunette had been there for his friend unconditionally.

Nicky’s face fell after Shane looked away. He knew he wasn’t being fair to the younger boy. He’d known about Shane’s feelings for him for quite some time now and he’d, cruelly, played with his affections. Out of desperation and loneliness, Nicky had thrown himself at the brunette then been hurt when Shane had rejected him.  
Looking back on the incident, he was relieved Shane had stopped it and had been able to carry their friendship on as though it hadn’t happened. He really wanted to apologize for his behavior but he couldn’t find the right words to say.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have done it” Nicky spoke up.  
“Done what?” Shane asked.  
“I just… I needed to know if I could… Be with him again… I gave him false hope”  
“You weren’t to know… But like I said before, it might pass”

Nicky shook his head before looking up and meeting Shane’s eyes. The older boy didn’t know what to say. He knew this wasn’t the type of conversation he should be having with Shane but he needed someone to talk to and he knew the brunette would listen.

“What are you going to do?” Shane asked him.  
“He was honest with me…” Nicky began. “It’s only fair that I return the favor. He needs to know”  
“When? When will you tell him?”  
“I don’t know… Soon, I suppose”

“He… Uh…” Shane stammered. “He knows about this”  
“This?” Nicky asked.  
“You and me, here, now”  
“Shane, there is no you and me”  
“I… I know… I uh I just meant that I told him we were having breakfast together”  
“Why would you do that?”  
“It just slipped out! Besides, it’s the truth”

“Give it a rest, Shane” Nicky said. He pulled out his wallet and dropped some money on the table to cover his meal before standing up.  
“Nicky, don’t leave” Shane said to him. “I mean, you haven’t finished eating yet”  
“I’m not hungry”  
“Nix, I’m sorry”  
“No you’re not”

Nicky turned and walked away. Shane watched him go, unsure of what else to say to his friend. The blonde took several steps before turning back and approaching the younger boy. He walked up to his band mate and leaned down to whisper in his ear.

“Give it up, Shane” he hissed. “You had your chance with me… You blew it. Now, I wouldn’t have sex with you even if you paid me”

Tears formed in Shane’s eyes before Nicky had even pulled away. The blonde looked down at him but didn’t say anything more. He turned and hurried from the café. Shane watched him go, Nicky’s harsh words echoing in his head and crushing his heart to pieces.  
Deep down he’d always known he’d never be enough for Nicky but hearing the words from the blonde was more painful than he ever imagined. Shane closed his eyes and blinked back his tears. For the past month, he’d been nothing but supportive of the older boy… He now knew Nicky had just been using him as a shoulder to cry on and someone to boost his confidence again.  
Another tear slipped down his cheek. A simple thank you was all Shane had wanted.

 

How could we get so close  
And end up as strangers?  
How could something so good end up like this?

 

Shane returned to the hotel in time to meet the other lads for their final day in the recording studio. Nicky was already in the front seat of the car, sunglasses covered his eyes and headphones adorned his ears. The brunette tried not to look at him as he climbed into the car. Kian and Mark also climbed in and they traveled to the studio in silence.

The morning passed painfully slow. Mark was aware of the awkwardness between Nicky and Shane but was too afraid to question it. Shane avoided Nicky every chance he got but the blonde failed to notice. He was too preoccupied by his own thoughts and his pending conversation with Mark.

After they had a break for lunch, Mark decided to approach Nicky. The blonde was sitting in the corner of the studio, headphones in his ears again. Mark couldn’t help but smile at him. The brunette slowly crossed the room and sank down on the floor beside Nicky. For the longest time, neither one of them spoke. Nicky didn’t remove the headphones but he did stop the music. Mark folded his hands in his lap and stared ahead, directly at Shane who was singing in the studio. He quickly lowered his gaze and stared down at his hands.

Nicky reached out and placed his hand on top of Mark’s. He used his other hand to remove the headphones before turning to look at the younger boy. His eyes met with Mark’s and he held his gaze for a long time.

Mark’s heart fluttered as he stared into Nicky’s blue eyes. He’d seen that look before, had seen it that very morning. There was no mistaking it. Mark reached up to brush his hand across Nicky’s cheek but the blonde recoiled from his touch. As Mark retracted his hand, he struggled to find the right words to say to his love.

“Nicky…” Mark began.  
“It’s not what you think” Nicky interrupted him. “Shane’s in love with me but I don’t feel anything for him”  
“Are you sure?”  
“I’m positive”  
“I… I’m glad to hear it”  
“Mark, we have to-“ Nicky began.

“I am so bored!” Kian exclaimed as he sank down beside Mark.

Nicky quickly retracted his hand and turned away. He looked up and saw Shane watching him. Kian caught the annoyed look on Mark’s face and immediately knew he’d interrupted something.

“Oh… Lads, I’m sorry” Kian said. “You two were talking…”  
“No” Nicky feigned a smile. “It’s okay, Ki. We were just about done anyway” Nicky turned to Mark. “Can we talk later? Tonight, maybe?”  
Mark nodded. Nicky quickly stood up and walked away. Mark watched him go and didn’t try to stop him.

“So, are you two back together?” Kian asked him.  
“I don’t know” Mark shrugged.  
“What do you mean you don’t know?”  
“Well, we were making progress… Things were starting to work out again”  
“So what went wrong?”  
“We had sex last night”  
“Uh, I’m sorry but isn’t that a good thing?”  
“I thought it was then he left to have breakfast with Shane”  
“They’ve been doing that a lot lately… It’s no big deal. Nicky’s not into Shane”

Mark sighed. “Maybe not but… Something’s changed. Since last night I mean. When Nicky looks at me, I feel like it’s not me he’s seeing. Things were finally going back to normal. I screwed up and he forgave me… I told him I loved him and, for a moment there, everything was perfect again”  
“So why do you look so scared?”  
“I just… I feel like I’m going to lose him”  
“But he just came back”  
“I know”

*

Shane was watching the exchange between Nicky and Mark. He didn’t know if he should feel happy or sad. He’d been longing for things to be over for Nicky and Mark for a long time but after this morning, the reality that Nicky would never be his had finally sunk in. A part of him was aware that Mark was about to get his heart broken and, under other circumstances, he would have been celebrating.  
Nicky’s harsh words continued to echo in his head and he blinked back another round of tears. As Nicky walked away from Mark, the younger boy looked up and met Shane’s eyes. In that moment, they both realized that they each looked exactly how the other person felt.

 

You don't love me, you can't say it  
After all this time  
You don't want me, you can't mean it  
Tell me your lied  
Yesterday everything seemed so ok  
How can it be that today  
You don't love me?

 

Mark was standing in front of the mirror, adjusting his shirt collar and scrutinizing his appearance. Nicky was going to be there any minute and he wanted to look perfect. He knew this could be his last chance to show Nicky how sorry and how devoted to him he really was.  
The food had arrived, the table was set and the wine was chilling. He’d placed several candles around the room and selected all of Nicky’s favorite songs to play from his laptop, which was tucked away out of sight.

The nervous brunette took a deep breath and moved away from the mirror. He picked up his lighter and set about lighting all the candles. After he’d finished that task, he stood back and took a moment to inspect his efforts.  
The sight took him back to their first date. Both had been too nervous to be seen out in public, having a romantic dinner together, so they had stayed in (the candles and the music hadn’t been there for ambiance but they were a nice touch now.) He was reminded of how the night had ended with their first kiss.

The brunette was still examining the room when he heard a knock at the door. He checked his reflection one last time before walking over to the door. After a few deep breaths, he reached out and opened the door.  
The older boy was standing in the hall, still dressed in the same clothes he’d been wearing at the recording studio. Mark looked him up and down before moving aside and allowing him to enter the room.

Nicky stepped past Mark and walked over to the bed. He didn’t say anything or even stop to admire how much effort the younger boy had put into the evening. The blonde removed his jacket and tossed it over his shoulder onto the bed. He turned and looked at Mark. The brunette looked back at him. Nicky sighed in defeat.

“We need to talk” he said to Mark.  
“Do we?” Mark asked.

Mark turned the light on and walked over to the blonde. He sank down beside him and turned to face him. The younger boy reached out to take hold of Nicky’s hand but the brunette pulled away. Mark looked up and met Nicky’s gaze. He knew before Nicky had even opened his mouth what was going to happen. He stared into his love’s eyes and felt his heart slowly breaking.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be doing all the talking?” Mark whispered.

Nicky continued to stare into Mark’s eyes. He tried so hard to hold back his tears but when he felt Mark’s hand on his knee, the tears began to flow. Nicky attempted to blink them back but they continued to fall. The younger boy reached up and gently wiped away the blonde’s tears.

“It’s okay” Mark whispered. “You don’t have to say anything… Not unless you really mean it. I love you, Nicky”  
“I don’t love you, Mark” Nicky whispered back.  
The room filled with unimaginable silence. Neither one of them could look at the other. Mark chose to pretend he hadn’t heard Nicky. He reached out and pulled the older boy to him.  
“No” Mark felt tears brimming in his own eyes. “That’s not true. Yesterday was perfect, last night… We made love… Everything was okay again…”  
“No, it wasn’t” Nicky broke away from Mark and climbed to his feet. “Last night was… Was goodbye”  
“That’s a lie, Nix… You love me!”  
“I… I don’t! Not any more”  
“Is there someone else? Is it Shane?”  
“There’s no one else, I just… I… I don’t love you. I can’t trust you anymore”  
“But I-“  
“No, I… I look at you and… And I… I don’t feel it anymore”

Mark continued to stare at Nicky. He slowly shook his head from side to side, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. This wasn’t meant to happen. Nicky had forgiven him, had come back to him… He’d misled him, given him false hope.  
“Nicky, please don’t do this to me” Mark said. “I love you. Always have and I swear, I always will. Yes, I made a mistake but it’s in the past. I need you”  
“Well I… I don’t need you. Being with you, last night, was a mistake but I… I needed to know… When you touched me, I cried because of what you did to me. When you held me, I could see you with him. When you touched me, I could see your hands on him and I… I couldn’t handle it”  
“Nicky-“  
“I can’t love someone who would do something like that to me”  
“But I-“  
“I’m sorry, Mark”

Nicky turned and headed for the door. Mark sat, unmoving, on the bed. He wanted to go after him, to stop him, but he was too numb. Everything Nicky had said to him was swimming about his mind, all melding together and he tried to make sense of it all.  
He wanted to grab him, kiss him and tell him they were meant to be together. He wanted to yell at him, be mad at him for climbing back into his bed only to throw it back in his face. He wanted to blame someone other than himself.

The blonde had reached the door. Mark stood up.

“Nicky, wait” Mark began. “Please?”  
“I can’t” Nicky replied. “Do you remember our first date?”  
“How could I ever forget?”  
With his back still to Mark, Nicky said “What did I say to you that night? When you asked me the one thing I could never forgive?”  
Mark considered it for a moment before closing his eyes in defeat. “Infidelity”

Nicky finally turned and looked at the brunette.  
“Yeah” Nicky whispered.  
“I’m sorry, Nix” Mark pleaded. “I never meant to hurt you”  
“I know… I’m sorry too… I... I feel like I don’t know you anymore. I... I’m looking at you but I’m seeing a complete stranger”  
“No, Nicky… It’s me, I swear! I’m right here!”  
“Then maybe I never really knew you at all…”

Again, Nicky turned around. He opened the door and stepped out into the hall.

 

You've shattered my heart  
And you've left it for dead  
The truth is I've been misled  
You don't love me

 

As the door closed behind the blonde, Mark sank down on the bed. He buried his face in his hands and sobbed. He slowly lay down, curling himself up in a ball. His hand found Nicky’s jacket and he pulled it to him. The fabric was enriched with the blonde’s unique scent. Mark hugged it to him, lifting it to his face and inhaling deeply.

“I need you Nicky” Mark whispered. “Come back to me, please?”

He reached into the pocket and his fingers found a thin chain. He pulled it out and examined it… The small crucifix he’d given him for their three month anniversary. Nicky was still carrying it in his pocket… Mark smiled through his tears.

“You still love me, I know you do”

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of the 'Stephanie McIntosh' album challenge wherein I attempted to write a fic for every song on her album
> 
> Track # 7 - You Don't Love Me
> 
>  
> 
> Original publication date (on my now defunct 'All Things Shnicky' site): 19th February 2008


End file.
